Refined and Fly

Friday, September 21, 2007


Peace! Today's mathematics is wisdom knowledge abbt understanding (2+1=3). As I was traveling through my degrees, I focused on the question in the wisdom knowledge (21) degree in the 1-40..."Who is the founder of unalike attract and alike repel?" This got me to thinking about why everybody is at a loss for why Black folks (see "African Americans") can't get along. Many people will mention the psychological legacy of slavery and more specifically, the Willie Lynch Syndrome. I think there is some validity in the concept of Black people being seperated and turning against each other based on primarily physical characteristics (as the story reads), but that whole event and speech has never been proven to have actually taken place...sometimes folk just wanna believe in something so much to prove a point but it don't make it anymore true, even if the point is valid. Let's use slave narratives or factual information and research...somethin! But I digress...

The main reason that I see is the differences in people's personal culture. We should know by now that Black folks ain't one monolithic group. We are on different financial, socioeconomic, educational and class levels which determines our way of life. Due to this process of division, we all think that we are different...and to a degree, we are. Due to a level of being grafted and seperated from who we originally were (and there's some diversity within that, depending upon your historical lineage), we have been filtered out into different worlds, spaces and places, which creates division and infighting. So if you see someone who is unalike you, you may turn your nose up at them and justify to yourself how you are superior, failing to see some level of commonality, and hence keeping away from "your" own people. A so-called "square" don't wanna kick it with so-called "gangstas" and gangstas don't wanna kick it with squares. By thinking this way, you may fail to see the equality in both sides, but it's understandable cuz they live in two different worlds.

Culture plays a large role in how a person sees themselves in the world. Nowadays, you may find a Black person that was raised in suburbia around White folks, went to school with White folks, they play sports with White folks, go to parties with White folks, so is it really a surprise that they may feel more comfortable around White folks and that their interests mirror that which they have been exposed to? Besides varying levels of melanin and maybe a similar historical lineage (i.e. their great great granparents may have both been slaves), what does this person have in common with Reggie on the block that sells weed and hustles white tees?

On the flip side, this is how you get rappers like Pall Wall marrying Black women, who is totally comfortable around certain kinds of Black folks...cuz as far as I know, that's what he was exposed to. That's how he was raised. He was conditioned by all within his environment to have the same interests that resonate with some Black people. Even in the Bay, the "hyphy" subculture crosses ethnic lines. You see African American, Mexican, Vietnamese, Phillipino all embracing the same thing (music, sideshows, locks, grills, extacy). Culture is the tie that binds

Herein lies the problem with Black folks still tryin to come up with a universal plan to save other Black folks. Your plan is gonna be according to how you see the world, not how everybody sees it. One plan ain't gon work for everybody cuz we're in different places. If you got money, economics isn't your biggest issue. If you got good schools, education isn't your biggest issue. People (except for a select few who can see and understand the myriad of experiences across the Black community) usually address problems based on the needs of those within their interest group and worldview. So if you're a young Black professional for instance, and you want to network with other YBP's, your priority may be to set up a First Fridays in your city.
If you live in a neighborhood with crappy schools and your child is under-educated, you may fight for change within the educational system in your city. Is this a problem? Not necessarily, cuz if everyone works on their own piece, BUT is open to learn from the struggles, challenges and triumphs from others, and adds on their knowledge skills and talents to other people's issues when applicable, we'll probably be okay. B.u.t. a lot of times, we miss that last part.

So acknowledging that we are not a monolithic group, should we just stay within the confines of those who mirror our own interests and live a similar lifestyle? I would say emphatically no! This is what people TEND to do, which is gravitate to those who are alike you. But unalike attracts and alike repels, meaning how are you going to learn and teach new things if you are always around the same kind of people all the time? Of course, I'm gonna be around Gods and Earths most of the time cuz we advocate the same perspective. This is how we continue to reinforce our bond to each other and see the commonality in how we are alike. However, as those who see the world in a similar fashion, we should repel off of each other (alike repel) to go amongst those who think and do differently to build on how we see the world (unalike attract). If I have knowledge of self, it is my duty to go amongst those who do not and share things with them, and also learn things from them.

Another example...if I want more money and am looking for financial abundance, I shouldn't spend all of my time around those who are in the same position as than a bad joke! I need to, at least some of the time, be around people who have money so I can learn how to get some! (unalike attract) Then I can bring that information back to those who are alike me, share it, and we can all do our own thing, go out into the world, and come up (alike repel). Just like Kimora Lee Simmons. She is a person who is unalike me...she seems to have this kind of diva bitch attitude and I would never talk to my staff the way she does. But in other ways, she is the Self He I Square! She is a mogul, mother, very business minded, loves her children, is a multi-tasker, knows what she wants, good delegater, can make ideas materialize, uses every hour of the day, and is by no means a figure head. She is runnin Baby Phat. So there are things I can learn from her by watching her show "Life in the Fab Lane" that I can apply to myself and strive for that can benefit those around me. See what I mean?


I didn't write a blog on Jena 6 cuz frankly, other people have written blogs and articles, and I wouldn't have had anything different to say. However, I will say this...yesterday, I wore Black (in hot 80 degree weather) in solidarity with those who were protesting. My thought was, this is one small way I can show support and continue to take a stance against abuses against Black babies and show support to the families of those 6 young people. After building with the God (check out I Majestic's blog for more context), I realized that we still got it messed up (not that I forgot, but this was a glaring example).

People were calling this the "new civil rights movement" and got all excited cuz lots of Black folks came together and marched. No, it was a Civil Rights MOMENT, cuz what will be done after this? We are so used to responding to overt acts of racism and prejudice that there isn't as much of an uproar over the systematic, covert, institutional racism that is consistently present, governing our lives THAT IS MORE POWERFUL than one act. I'm not saying that people shouldn't respond to the "in your face" stuff and I'm not really knockin those who went down there to show their support.

However, lets not get it twisted... responding to Jena was one act of tangible (I think) thing we did to respond to this situation. The big beast is culture...the systems that create the consistent activities that determine what kind of life we will have. It's the disparities in schools, neighborhoods, Prison Industrial Complex, economics. It's the diesel trucks that drive through your neighborhood and not other people's neighborhood, polluting the air with black exhaust fumes. Maybe giving all that we have and all within our power to attack those systems seems overwhelming. So we get a false sense of victory by winning one battle, when in reality, we're thowin pebbles at a big ole fire breathin dragon, bringin knives to gunfights.


I Medina Peaceful Earth

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Peace! Today's degree in the Supreme Alphabet is love, hell or right. As I was up thinking this morning, I was focusing on how some relationships between men and women start off with love, descend into hell, and may or may not turn out right. This is largely due to the lack of understanding people have for each other. As I travled through my own specific history BEFORE I got knowledge of self, I reflected upon some of my experiences in relationships and other relationships I've seen. In relationships, sometimes we are easily led in the wrong direction and hard to be lead in the right direction, which can produce re-occuring experiences of chaos or "hell."

Before I got knowledge of self, I learned some interesting lessons that I have now put into perspective and can share with others now that I am headed in the right direction. These points are based off some life situations in the past and relationships I've seen played out by others. And don't be gettin all paranoid with your mate askin' them all kinds of questions after you read this either! These are just things to keep in mind and work on if you need to. So,don't be mad at me...this is for the ultimate benefit and success of the Black Family and is not directed to or about anyone in particular...

1. Do not underestimate what a woman will or will not do when she is pushed over the edge or unhappy. She does have a breaking point that you may or may not be aware of when it happens. In these cases, it is possible that she will do what you think she would never do.

2. Do not ask questions where you are not prepared to hear the answer. Do not ask a question because you are looking for a specific answer that you want confirmed (i.e.Asking "Do I still look good in this dress," if you've gained 100 pounds and self-esteem is a little low and need some positive may not get the answer you want) Ask a question if you truly don't know the answer and open yourself up for whatever answer you may recieve...otherwise, your mate will be tempted to lie to you to make you feel good in the moment or keep the peace, and you won't really get what you want anyway.

3. In that vein, do your best to avoid "Catch 22" questions. These are questions that are akward for your mate to answer honestly, and usually, the root of someone asking is that they want to be told what they want to hear and not the truth, i.e. "Would you ever cheat on me,"...or "If you cheated on me, would you tell me?" Of course, you want to hear "no," so a person may be tempted to tell you what you want to hear instead of the truth, which may be, "I don't know or maybe."

4. If you are physically, mentally, or emotionally abusing your woman, if you haven't completely destroyed her self-concept,once she starts feelin herself, she will leave you.

5. If you do not think your woman's comfort, peace of mind and happiness is important, and disregard these things, her eyes may eventually wander toward someone who is more attentive to her needs. Someone may pop up that at least appears to be all that you are not. She may not tell you and you may never find out.

6. Give each other a little space sometimes! Do things on your own or with your babies or with your brothers or with your sisters. Develop your own interests. This will keep up the level of excitement cuz you will be bringing new things to build about and appreciate to the relationship. You should be learning things from each other, not just feeling warm and fuzzy cuz she's cute and he dresses nice.

7. As my God says, "A happy woman is a productive woman."

8. Do not get caught up in the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship. The first couple months is always great cuz for the most part, ya'll are still getting to know each other and everybody's putting their best face forward. And sometimes, people straight up "send their representatives" as Chris Rock so eloquently stated. Do not be fooled. You cannot say that you truly know someone after a couple weeks. You know what they are choosing to show you. You probably have to live with somebody to truly know who they are in totality. If someone shows even small signs that they are crazy or imbalanced, that is the real "them" peaking out.

9. Communication is key. If a person doesn't know, they are left to assume, and could be assuming the wrong thing!

10. If you "cheat" on a woman, or consistently "cheat," do not be fooled into thinking she will never cheat on you because she loves you so much. Do not abuse her loyalty. Some sistas will take your behavior as justification to be able to "do her thing."

11. Do not assume that the dynamic of being attracted to other people or thinking about other people while in a relationship is relegated to men only. Women do it too, they are just better at hiding it.

12. Know who you're with! For example, if you're with a player/ playette, accept it or reject it cuz most likely, that ain't gon' change no matter how funky you're keepin everything. You must understand what they are made of and how they were made. If you get played, it may not have nothin to do with what you are or are not doing...that just may be their inclination that they are choosing not to suppress.

13. Take responsibility if you mess up with whatever situation it may be. Nobody makes you do somethin you don't wanna always have a choice no matter how tempting your situation is or no matter how much you're tryin to please someone else. Have the discipline to resist if you don't wanna get caught up or take the consequence of your action like a man or woman. You'll be respected more in the end, instead of comin up with obvious excuses. Whatever it is, think "Is this really worth it?" first! If it ain't, don't do it. If it is, do what ya gotta do and accept the consequences.

14. "No strings attached" is an illusion. There are always strings. And if it's the wrong person, you may never be able to get rid of those strings. Those strings may turn into ropes that bind. Do not be fooled!

15. If you're choosing to be a "homie, lover, friend," be warned...somebody always wants more eventually and someone will always catch feelings. If you're serious about no strings, be painfully honest in the beginning so there can be no misinterpretations about the relationship. You do not want a stalker that shows up at your home or job cuz they thought ya'll had a future and you didn't. Do not be fooled!

16. You cannot save or change somebody. You can only give them the tools to save themselves. If they choose not to, don't be mad, they just couldn't get with the program. Some people can put on a real good show for a real long time, but they're still the same, and if you wait long enough or if the wrong situation happens, that other side will come out in full force. By then, it might be too late!

17. Keep it funky in all areas! Do not let yourself go! If you're with somebody for a while, boredom can set in which can lead to wandering thoughts and eyes. Do something a little unexpected sometimes to keep things fresh. Try to break up the monotony when you can.
18. Do not fall into the trap of "someone new" always equalling somethin good, better or long lasting. They're just different. Eventually, the new gets old and you'll be faced with a new person with a different set of problems. You cannot escape another person's baggage and everybody's got a bag! Some people have closets!

19. Set up the rules and regulations of that cipher as soon as possible. Discuss your expectations, contributions, and shared responsibilities. Have a talk, make a list, do whatever you gotta do. This will not happen by osmosis. Everyone has different roles to play and contributions to make cuz we are not the same. If you are letting everything just fall into place, you are gambling, and could waste a lot of time. You might have the talk, and see that you aren't right for each other, versus spending 10 years of trying to figure it out and come to the conclusion that it ain't gon work anyway.

20. Be honest with yourself about where you're at and where you wanna be. If the two don't match, you may have some serious thinking and explaining to do. Don't waste years months and days if you know it's not gonna work. If you're unsure, or are just going through a rough patch, try to work it out. Don't make the call prematurely. Otherwise, if you're absolutely sure, make the decision and open yourself up for some "you" time or the possibility of someone, not better than that person, but better for you.
I Medina Peaceful Earth